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    April 30

    promise...

    it was a promise i make for myself... promise not to be affected by how ppl look at me, say about me or anything. but why? why do they have to treat my pure intention into helping them with their work a bad action? i don have any other motive for goodness sake!! all i wanted was to help them if its within my capability so why!! am i really "action"? what is "action" define it !! damn it... just because i don speak in colorful language doesnt mean that i dono! thats why even if u talk bad behind my backs or did something at me i jus smile and laugh it away... even when i lend u people things and u didn return, i didn say any thing... i even share sweets with u when i have it... so why am i being used and being talk behind the back? why am i even sheding tears for people like u... u don worth it!!! am i "action"? jus because i know more things, does that means i'm action? if i ask teacher question, does that means that i'm action too? if its so i cant help it!! i study too and i ask question when im in doubt! who doesnt wish to clear their doubts? retards i have my limit of patience too. and wat about me acting cute? isit because the way i speak or isit my actions? well i cant help it if u wish i'll talk in a monotone voice and i'll ignore u people have question. i cant help it if i speak like that... everyone have a style of talking arent u guys too? why cant u think it this way... so why...?
     
     
     
     
    なんで。。?
    April 26

    lucky and happy perhaps?

    im so happy that i didn fail and of my test :O although i jus pass by half a mark for my physic test, oh well it still pass ^^and as for chinese i pass by 4 marks XD anyway im happy for my bro since his opening his own private server, though is quite troublesome he still manage and for those who want to support him go here ^^ and exam is coming in a week and im dead :X

    April 19

    i'll probably...

    i'll probably fail my physics and chinese test.. this sorta sux.. i nv wanted to dissapoint my teachers that try their best to teach student like us. As for chinese test i'll fail because i don understand it and has no time to complete it, for phyiscs... blame myself for forgetting to bring my calculator on that day and had to totally flunk the test. if i had a choice, i never would have wanted tis to happen. Oh well... no one succeed without falling, i guess i'll teach myself this lesson and hopefully not make the same mistake again. Anyway good luck to those who are having exams too and good luck for myself too ^^ gambatte ne~
    heres a photo of ancelin, my schoolmate [not classmate]
    April 06

    なんで。。?

    why? can anyone tell me is  this world biased? am i that weird? why even if its partially my mistake, do i have to bear the whole responsible? i hate this... yes i really hate this. why mus they bribe me to do their things? have they tried hard enough before asking for someone's help? i can say the answer is no. i know this because its the same for me too, well except that this happen sometimes. i hate them, jus because u inherited most of her genes doesnt means that both of u can gang up on me!!! i know i'm at fault too but did u tried hard enough before asking me for help or even tried to bribe me? i have me own thngs to do u know, and exams are coming, why cant u jus put in extra effort to it if u have the free time to play games? so wat if things turn out badly? if u had already put in ur most effort u will live to not regret anything... so why do u always depend on me?? u have ur own brain cant u use it!?!?! why cant anyone put themselves in my shoes? am i really a bad person? someone please tell me or help me... someone... anyone out there... please i beg u... those eyes that bear my tears are finally threatening to spill and already has... so why? why does it always have to happen this way? please dont let the other me to take over...
     
    i hate them and dislike myself for not being able to do anything about it...
     
    lost in the darkness,
    no lights can be found,
    until than who shall,
    be the one who will,
    guide me through this,
    and release me,
    from all this hatred...
     
    あの日いつかきっと。。。
    April 04

    孤独だと感じる日でも 惨めだと感じる日さえあるけれど。。。

    sometimes it makes me wonder how one person's childishness can be and one person's stupidity... my days are tiring as i tried to laugh it away, hoping that no one could see that i'm actually about to cry... sometimes unconciously my eyes gets teary as i thought about it but those tears will never fall as what passes give us fear and courage by turning it to one of this things it can actually help u pass those miserable day... i hope that i could be angry with them even if it's for a day or two but i cant really let that happen, could i? if i were to let anger take over me, than i'll be just like wat they wanted.
     
    dear message to girl A and girl B:
    for goodness sake please don even dare to act high and mighty u are jus showing ur stupidity!!! wat are u good at? scolding vulgarities? yup i know since i don scold it, but that doesnt mean i dono HOW to scold, i wont even thought of reducing myself to the likes like U childish little girl. so wat if ur tall? taller than me by jus that cm don think u can act high and mighty because of that, or isit that u wan to compare the size of ur butt and breast? u girls are over nutrition for u to grow up as such arrogant,ignorant and rotten ppl. jus because after all this time im not talking bak to use doesnt mean im SCARE of u. for goodness sake i jus learn to controll my temper all this while since u are not worthy for me to talk back and this time u are lucky i'm moody so i talk back to u its that simple. but i doubt u can even see it with such high and mighty look stapled to ur freaking face. so, u cant settle with me in a talking game and now we are on to settling things using paper balls in class [if u have balls which u don't make this bulling thing worsen for goodness sake is this even called bullying? to me its jus a simple, childish little prank]? arent you a tad too childish u are teenagers, youth for goodness sake why do u guys act like primary school students? oh, no wonder u didn even do any of ur test paper and only know how to "copy" homewrok from others. p-l-e-a-s-e jus because ur parents are rich doesnt mean u don have to work hard for m-o-n-e-y ばか、あほ、てめ。i would sure like to see how u suffer when u go out to work with no hard work and so maybe u could give me some tips :D but i wouldnt want it if u are willing give me too. i dont wanna be lazy piggys like u, so good luck in going to "ITE" ^^
     
    yours sincerely but truely,
    櫻庭小夜
     
    i guess the world is still as cold as it is... even my brother attidude to me is cold and heartless... and he is someone i know that seems hard to communicate with, since he calls me stupid when his stupid himself who cant understand simple chinese and had to bribe me to do his homework...